"I don't need my cane, do I?"
The music to Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat is near and dear to my heart.
It was one of Matt's very first musicals he "studied". He watched the video a zillion times, we played the soundtrack in the car wherever we went, and we saw three productions locally. He made puppets of all the brothers out of paper bags and Popsicle sticks. Joseph was bigger and brighter than all the rest. Joey played "Any Dream Will Do" on his saxophone in our backyard talent show while Matt emceed the show in his top hat. We lived Joseph for awhile!
And we lived it again tonight as we set out to see it at Boylan High School.
But there was something different tonight. Matt wasn't on the couch with his puppets and he wasn't in his wheelchair at New American Theater to see the show. He was in the tennis shoes he tied, a bit-too-big blazer from Goodwill, and some ratty blue jeans with one hem slightly ripped on the bottom. He looked good. We were on our way out the door to see the show. "I don't need my cane, do I?" he asked us.
I surprised myself when I said 'of course you don't need your cane!' A flashback from last night zipped through my mind. He walked up to the varsity football coach from the back of the room when his name was called. There he went; tall, straight, and confident with a round of applause but without his cane. It made me smile. There was my kid. Almost like all the rest of the football players. Matt stood next to Coach Gill and enjoyed the glory of the comments he made about the fine job he did this year as the team manager. Go Guilford Vikings!
The varsity letter he carried back to our table represented more to me than a job well done on the football field during games and practices. (Although it was nothing short of unbelievable watching him carry a rack of water bottles out to the players and making it off the field before the next play started). It represented success and progress. It represented being a part of his peer community. It represented pride and maturity. It represented dreams I would have never thought possible years ago.
We thought his performance in the King and I at the Coronado Theater some years back was the ultimate dream. And it was. It was for many years. But the new dreams keep coming. He visited that same theater just last week to see Bill Cosby, Live! with his friend, Luke. We had dinner together at the Capri and then we dropped them off at the front door of the theater and took a deep breath. Would they find their right seats, would they talk too loud, would they have to use the bathroom, would they, would they, would they? Greg and I really didn't have to worry though because a friend of mine happened to be at the Capri with her mother. I just had a hunch they were going to the show, too. Jackpot! They were and I asked her for the favor. I just wanted a "small" favor to take a peek if she could find them to see if they were in their seats. As Greg and I had a cocktail in a nearby lounge, her text message said "all is well". Ahhhh…….breathe out.
I find I have to wonder and worry less and less as Matt is more capable and able of taking care of things himself. I am sure the many terrific experiences he has had with "camp" (Camp One Step at a Time) and being away from home has contributed to his ability and independence. Cruising around his high school of 2100 kids also proves what he is made of!
So, I couldn't help mentioning on our way out of the school tonight that I remembered when he was in physical therapy and using his cane very well. I had asked the therapist if he was ready to stop therapy since he was walking so well with it. She said that we could take it to the next level. I was clueless. What could be next? I was thrilled that Matt was walking at all. She said we could work until he didn't need it anymore. That surprised me because it never occurred to me that Matt might be able to walk again without it. I really didn't care if he ever got that far and I really didn't think he would……..but he has and it's amazing.
Any dream will do…….won't it?